If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
