Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
