sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
