You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
