Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
