You were right. It hurts to walk today.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
