This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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