Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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