is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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