so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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