are you still at the devil's house?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
