How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
