drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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