I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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