I wanna passion pit in your ass
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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