i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
