I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
