Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
