Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
