We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
