im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
