Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
