i think i have two assholes
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
