Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
