I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
