The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
