just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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