I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
