We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
