If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
