No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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