You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
