I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
