Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
