there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
