Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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