my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
