so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
