Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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