I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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