dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
