Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
