put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize