sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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