I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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