at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
