Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
