porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
