This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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