I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
