there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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